The Kids Know, Y’Know…

Referees often get a bad rap. Sometimes with good cause! But often they are witty and perceptive, recognizing where the real problem lies. 

The following conversation took place, during a stoppage in play, between a referee and a young boy in a schoolboy game in Scotland.

Referee…               “Hey son, come here.”

Young boy…        “Yes ref. What is it?”

Referee…               “Do you realize that when I blow for a foul against your team that your not supposed to get all petulant, jumping up and down and calling the referee all the names under the sun?”

Young boy…        “Yes, ref, I know that.”

Referee…               “Tell me son, do you realize that when I give you or a teammate a yellow card for dangerous play or the like that you are not supposed to go mental. That you are not supposed to threaten me with grievous bodily harm. That you are not supposed to eff and blind at me as if we were in some kind of barrack room brawl?”

Young boy…        “Yes, ref, I know that.”

Referee…               “Tell me son, do you realize that when I give you or a teammate a red card for a second occurrence of dangerous play or the like that you are not supposed to go crazy like some demented madman. That you are not supposed say things to me like ‘…I know where you live!...’ or ‘… I know what school your children go to…’. And you are certainly not supposed to make reference to my genealogy nor make disgusting references about my wife.”

Young boy…        “Yes, ref, I know that.”

Referee…               “Son, that’s great. So can you do me a favour and go over there and explain all of that to your mother.”